It’s the 30th of May and a design agency in rio de janeiro doesn’t know it’s about to unlock the thirstgates of the internet.

Lightfarm studios has just remade a Samsung digital assistant used primarily to help Brazilian boomers figure out how to spend money on a website.

Her name is Sam and she has gone from a garbage clip art style to a corporate Pixar aesthetic. She’s the Alita battle angel of office cubicles and she’s here to chop at least three digits off your bank account.

Let’s track this phenomenon. It’s the 31st of May, and lightfarm’s Facebook post is going well and commenters have already seen her potential. They are calling on the all powerful Rule 34. “If it exists there is porn of it. If there isn’t, there will be.”

By the morning of the first the first buds of proof started to appear on timelines. The artists had heard the call, and they had answered. Where were the artists when the Westfold fell. They were there fighting alongside whatever the fuck westfoldians call themselves.

But then, an anomaly. The original posts went down. The Facebook post was deleted. The project write-up on the website was a 404, and so was the hidden Vimeo upload.

Something had gone wrong. Had lightfarm posted to early? Was this a leak? Or was it a mock-up project done for fun and the optics had just gone wrong.

Lightfarm had worked with Samsung in the past, as early as 2016 in fact. The original posts had even mentioned the project being done in collaboration with cheil, which is the global agency in charge of Samsung shit.

I have reached out to both lightfarm and Cheil regarding the veracity of the project, but I also wanted to post a video asap, so I haven’t given them a whole lot of time to respond. If that changes I’ll add it in the description below. Hit the like button whole you’re scrolling down there btw cheers.

Now let’s clarify exactly what Sam is with the scant information we have on hand. She is not a replacement for Bixby. She is primarily a web based mascot that handles Q&A on the Brazilian shop page. She might be in other countries but I haven’t really gone looking. I haven’t seen her original form lurking anywhere else.

Will a cute brunette crawl out of the screen to give you a handjob every time you press the Bixby button. I think the answer to that is yes absolutely, Samsung doesn’t hate money are you crazy.

For hentai creators I think there will be a bit of a bandwagon powered primarily by fomo. Will Sam be as big as the likes of Earthchan or bowsette, probably not. But maybe, just maybe, she’ll be as big as Tweetfur. Remember that shit? 

Anyway this wasn’t the video I was expecting to make next, but I wanted to get this out while it was fresh. It has been bizarre watching Lightfarm recoil into itself like this. I think somebody must have fucked up.

Also, Samsung, please please make her a part of the phone. Nobody likes bixby it’s shit. It sounds like we have a butler we don’t like in our phone.

How do you guys feel about her? Bland or awesome? If you think either of those things hit like so I know for sure.