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Well it happened lads and ladettes. The normies found me. Leave a like on this video to pay respects. 

So things have been bonkers on my timeline since I first reported on Samsung Sam. I was one of the first, and I could have been the very first if I hadn’t seen the initial hype around her and gone “Huh… Well It’s time for bed.”

This post is a transcript for my latest video. You can check it out below or just keep reading!

My last video went bonkers as well, It came out at a good time I think. I could tell ahead of time that there were going to be a ton of badly written news articles about how Sam could be the Bixby replacement. It only takes one early one that doesn’t know what the fuck is going on for everything to snowball. When a writer doesn’t know how to find the original source they’ll reference the first piece they saw without digging further. You’ll see a little “according to this random twitter post” and then what follows is a completely baseless assertion. So watch out for that key phrase “according to” if it says that, just go to that article. I’ve seen news articles do that in a russian doll fashion before. Just keep clicking through em all and you actually get the source, there’s no need to reference a third party! Sorry, I have a little experience in the industry so I needed to go off on it a little bit. There are a few out there now that are saying the right shit, but I guess most don’t actually care and just wanted to knock out a quick 300 words. Also, the one time I start a video without explaining I’m a NSFW creator is the one video that thousands of of people actually see. So a bunch of people were in for a bit of a weird surprise there too I guess.

Being so early on this particular bandwagon wasn’t without it’s drawbacks though. I did a quick sketch during my lunchbreak on my phone and chucked it on Twitter. Some guy with a shit ton of followers quote retweeted it, which first of all, bro. Only hacks and phonies quote retweet. Be a man, commit, if you want to put some porn on your otherwise SFW timeline just do it.

This  led a bunch of his followers to pretty much say the only things they know how to say when confronted with their own erect penis. These can be broken down as such:

Go to Horny prison. I like this one. It’s playful, and horny prison sounds like a fun time.

#2 is just a quick tag to the FBI. Whoever runs the FBI socials must have to look at a shit ton of hentai every day. I guess it makes a pleasant change from waterboarding people.

The other one I saw a lot was “Touch grass”. I feel like I’m seeing this one more now since covid kicked off. Well buddy, lemme tell you this. I live in New Zealand. I drew that picture while lying on grass. In fact, I’m lying on grass right now. New Zealand has substandard infrastructure and we use roving flocks of sheep as insulation.

Another common theme, which is also a good old classic is telling me to go to church. Dude, Church is a great place to get drawing done thankyou for the suggestion. But also if you’re serious about your faith and outreach, I’ve currently got a Patreon account that should interest you in particular

One very old Trump supporting lady took time out of her busy schedule to tell me to quote “get a life”. I’m squandering this life as hard as I can lady. Spend some time reflecting and realise that policing random porn accounts on twitter is indeed not an indicator of you having a life either. She was actually pretty cool I appreciated her comments. In fact I appreciate all the comments. They’re all just memeing, I’m having fun, they’re having fun. It’s actually a good time, and it’s signal boosting for me as well. For every person asking me to go see a doctor for my illness two more people were quietly hitting follow. Harassing an artist only makes them stronger.

So remember, there’s no such thing as bad engagement, although if I could put in a request, make them more interesting sometime. You have the capacity to make new and original burns. I believe in you.